Persecuted for His Name Part 1

For years I wondered, “How does a Christian get persecuted in North America in comparison to other parts of the world like in communist countries or Muslim countries?” When I look at this story of king David dancing I see a godly man persecuted because of his love for God. Persecution does not always express itself through physical pain or death. I will tell you my story:

I had a best friend for about 5 years–a Middle Eastern Christian lady—whom I loved dearly. She was, after God, the dearest thing to me (she was definitely more precious to me than my life), and I loved her purely, unconditionally, and sacrificially. I brought her to Christ and she started going to church, and I have no doubt in my mind that her faith is genuine. A couple of years later I fell in love with her. At the time I was working in a warehouse as a general laborer and she used to always tell me to go back to school. She tried her best to encourage me to continue my education (“just study anything”, as she used to tell me) and get a good job, but I told her that I had to know God’s will for my career. I really needed to hear from God. My prayers and plans were that I would marry her in God’s timing. In 2006 when God spoke to me about continuing my education I told her about my decision that I was going to university to study mechanical engineering. Her reaction was, “When I told you to go back to school you didn’t listen, but now you want to go back to school?!” I explained to her that it was not about my or her will or timing—I had to obey God in this matter. Anyway, she was very upset by my decision, or rather by God’s timing, which surprised me—after all I had only good intentions toward her. She was so upset that few months later she cut all ties with me, and some months later I heard she got engaged to a Christian man from her church and they were planning to get married (and they did).

As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

They brought the ark of the LORD and set it in its place inside the tent that David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings before the LORD. After he had finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD Almighty. Then he gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates and a cake of raisins to each person in the whole crowd of Israelites, both men and women. And all the people went to their homes.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David said to Michal, “It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.”

And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death. ( 2 Samuel 6)

If you know me, or have read some of my writings, then you know that I do not take things such as love lightly and so when I say that I was planning to marry her you know how seriously in love with her I was. Losing her was by far the most painful experience I had gone through. It took me years to just be able to deal with the pain—not the pain of rejection—but the pain of losing someone I loved so much. (It was the first time I had a glimpse of the pain God goes through when He loses someone to sin, or the pain He went through for being separated from His Son on the cross because Jesus Christ bore our sins.) I cried for about 2 years almost daily because the pain was so intense. I remember crying in desperation so many times, “Lord, please take my legs, take my arms but please don’t take her”–and I meant those words. I remember waking up many times in the middle of the night because I could not sleep and I would pray for her. The pain and stress were so intense that I had few episodes of sleep paralysis. I remember, in first year a classmate told me, “Fadi, you have so much white hair!” I thought, “White hair? I don’t have white hair!” When I went home I looked in the mirror and she was absolutely right! (I do not know how much scientific it is to say that stress increases the greying of one’s hair, but I used to think it is untrue until I witnessed it happen to myself and to another person I know who went under such stress that within few weeks his whole facial hair turned white.)

King David by Fadi

I tried to understand what happened by analyzing the situation emotionally, mentally, culturally, etc, but really what happened was a spiritual battle: I wanted to wait for God’s will and timing but she did not. It was not until recently that I understood that if a Christian desires to live for God then he will be persecuted and will suffer regardless of where he lives. Because our enemy, Satan, is not a physical enemy that is limited by international borders or physical walls.

“I [Jesus Christ] will show him how much he [apostle Paul] must suffer for My Name.” ~Acts 9:16