Love Waits Patiently

For a long time now it has been my heart’s desire to get married to the woman God has meant for me, according to His timing. Second to only knowing Jesus more and more and become more like Him and fulfilling His purpose for my life, having my own family has been my biggest dream. However, waiting has not been an easy task, especially few years ago when I knew what God’s will was from reading the Bible, but I didn’t have enough faith to live a worry free life in Christ—simply put, I knew He was faithful but I didn’t trust Him fully all the time.

A few years ago I felt so lonely and saw how everyone around me has someone, whether according to God’s will or not, and so I went to pray and started crying out to Him, I was so troubled in my heart that I opened the Bible to show Him 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul talks about ‘marriage’. (I know it might sound silly to show God where in His Word He said this or that, but I also know it is better to wrestle with God, like Jacob did, and find His will rather than just pretend everything is “fine” and not know His will.) As I was looking for 1 Corinthians I passed Romans where in few seconds I passed over a page in Romans that I felt God wanted me to read, but I was in such a hurry that I passed it by! Then I sensed God telling me to stop and go back two pages, to the page I had skipped, so I stopped and went back to it. The page is divided by two columns and I had read it before and underlined some verses and circled some words, etc. However, God told me to look down the first column, which was not touched by a pen, and to start reading it. It was Romans 8:24-25:

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:25

I kept reading it over and over again, because I knew it was God telling me two things:

1) He knows where in His Word He said so and so, just as He knows everything else!
2) If I want to get married according to His way and timing, my future wife and I have to be ready, and that takes time and in the meantime we have to allow God to make us ready.

So now it is the most romantic verse to me! Ever since then until now God has confirmed this promise to me through other scripture and answer of prayers. I would like to mention that this promise is a conditional promise: if I would wait PATIENTLY then God will keep His promise—getting married to the woman He has in mind for me according to His timing. In other words, I cannot live according to the way of the world and then expect to get the blessing of God.

Contrasted Trees by Fadi

Another thing I have decided is not to create a mental image of her, because that will put restrictions on God’s will which will make it hard for me to be single minded with Him and harder to accept His will and obey Him. (The people who lived in Jesus’ days on earth created a mental image of the promised Savior, a mental image that did not fit God’s description in His Word of the promised Savior, so when He finally came they could not accept Him–instead they crucified Him.)

I am also learning to accept myself, whether the way He created my physical body, personality, my talents, and the place and family I grew up in. The only thing I desire He changes is my character and make it like the character of His Son, Jesus Christ. (This is especially has not been easy because I grew up in a culture where everybody is constantly being compared to everyone else. And your worth is determined by a class system based on human standards.)

I have prayed what some (especially ‘men’) would call “outrageous” prayers, however if the fulfillment of those prayers is what it takes to conform me to the likeness of my Lord Jesus Christ then so be it. And believe me God has answered those prayers and as hard as God’s sanctifying process has been I wouldn’t chose to do it any other way. (I just hope my future wife won’t be upset with me when she will know I’ve included her in those prayers too! After all, He has to prepare her too!)

However, God’s most important lesson in this time is: to be happy, and emotionally wholesome simply because I know Him. I truly believe if God can’t make a person happy and content a husband and wife won’t be able to. This will introduce a lot of strains into the marriage as it stresses the partner whose emotional and spiritual needs are not being met, and the other partner who can’t meet needs that only God can. (Even though for this lesson to start I had to go through hardest time of my life, but I am trusting that the God who created the universe and everything in it so magnificently and who loved me so much as to die on the cross for me, knows what He is doing and He is doing it for my best and my future wife’s best.)

Lastly and more importantly, I am learning to live for Him and focus on Him and trust that He is faithful and can take care of fulfilling His promise. I am learning to delight myself in the Lord and in due time He will fulfill my heart second desire (Psalm 37:4; Matthew 6:33). And if I won’t ever get married, that’s OK too as long as I have Him and it is His will for my life.

I would like to add one more comment to whoever read this far! Being a Christian does not mean we are perfect. It does not mean life around us is perfect either. We cry, we weep, we feel rejected and heartbroken, and we get scared and  we worry. We give up sometimes, get confused, and disillusioned (even with God!). But as Paul put it in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9:

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9